Saturday, November 19, 2016

Bloody Melons Press

Bloody Melons Press now has a website of its very own.

It's a great place to get information on... my new book! It's out! Swim on over.

Friday, September 30, 2016

New Book!

Nazi Sharks! fans, get ready.
A new novella is scheduled for November 2016.
No title or preview available yet. So just really, really use your imagination.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

It's Here!

Nazi Sharks! has now been released, just as it was prophesied!
Click here to purchase your copy of Nazi Sharks! today and finally gain your parents' acceptance!

Also, please enjoy the hell out of the new Merchandise and Discussion Guide sections.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Big Boobs! I mean, news. Big News!

We finally have a preview of the Nazi Sharks! cover artwork and I'm tickled. It's jam-packed with sharks and tits. What more can you want? I suppose a hidden treasure map would be nice.

Also! I can finally confirm that Nazi Sharks! will be 100% free, no strings attached, on Halloween Day, 2014. Grab Nazi Sharks! within the first 24 hours of release, and she's yours.


Friday, October 3, 2014

The Author Reads from Nazi Sharks!

Author of Nazi Sharks!, Jared Roberts, reads the thought-provoking, or at least thought-taunting, Chapter 6 for your enjoyment. Feel free to read along with this free sample.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Official Nazi Sharks! Top Ten TNA Movies

Watch, enjoy, and generously fondle some of the movies that made Nazi Sharks! possible.

Hard to Die (1990)
The ultimate 1980s scream queen T&A movie and the finale of the Sorority House Massacre movies, the great Jim Wynorski created his masterpiece with this tongue-in-cheek, tits-in-face movie. Hard to Die is not a movie you watch--it's a movie you motorboat.

Supervixens (1975)
Any Russ Meyer movie could be on this list. Supervixens is just his most purely boobalicious. He assembles the largest cast of his busty ladies and had them sign an anti-shirt clause. It's like a melon-cannon firing at your eyes.

Werewolf in a Women's Prison (2006)
Jeff Leroy's mash-up of a women-in-prison film and a werewolf movie is a tour-de-force of exploitation. Tons of topless babes with amazing racks, lecherous wardens, licky lesbians, and werewolf carnage.

Piranha 3D (2010)
Gianna Michael's parasailing naked. The End.

Evil Toons (1992)
Fred Olen Ray made many worthy T&A movies. Witch Academy could easily be on this list. But Evil Toons is the most fun and sleazy. Also, it's got Monique Gabrielle's two-liter jugs on proud display.

Deathstalker 2 (1987)
Another Jim Wynorski film, this one an epic tale of a barbarian world where all girls were Playboy playmates and had severe allergies to clothing. My kinda world.

Lifeforce (1985)
Tobe Hooper decided to make a movie about an alien vampire babe with amazing tits who walks around naked for ninety minutes.

Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
The classic T&A slasher. If you haven't seen this movie yet, punch yourself in the face.

Up! (1976)
Another Russ Meyer movie that just deserved to be on the list. Not for the sheer mammary volume or number, but for Raven's de la croixs.

Barbarian Queen (1985)
Also known as Queen of the Naked Steel! But it's not the steel that's naked in this movie. It's an Italian sleazefest about kidnapped barbarian girls and their sweater-hating captors. Lana Clarkson is magnificent and we should all urinate into Phil Spector's mouth.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Just Can't Get Enough

The latest Nazi Sharks! poster has been completed by my team of Indonesian child artists. They may have some bread this week If you like the new poster, want to support Nazi Sharks!, and want to feed the Indonesian children, share the poster with everyone--everyone.