Thursday, September 11, 2014

Official Nazi Sharks! Top Ten TNA Movies

Watch, enjoy, and generously fondle some of the movies that made Nazi Sharks! possible.

Hard to Die (1990)
The ultimate 1980s scream queen T&A movie and the finale of the Sorority House Massacre movies, the great Jim Wynorski created his masterpiece with this tongue-in-cheek, tits-in-face movie. Hard to Die is not a movie you watch--it's a movie you motorboat.

Supervixens (1975)
Any Russ Meyer movie could be on this list. Supervixens is just his most purely boobalicious. He assembles the largest cast of his busty ladies and had them sign an anti-shirt clause. It's like a melon-cannon firing at your eyes.

Werewolf in a Women's Prison (2006)
Jeff Leroy's mash-up of a women-in-prison film and a werewolf movie is a tour-de-force of exploitation. Tons of topless babes with amazing racks, lecherous wardens, licky lesbians, and werewolf carnage.

Piranha 3D (2010)
Gianna Michael's parasailing naked. The End.

Evil Toons (1992)
Fred Olen Ray made many worthy T&A movies. Witch Academy could easily be on this list. But Evil Toons is the most fun and sleazy. Also, it's got Monique Gabrielle's two-liter jugs on proud display.

Deathstalker 2 (1987)
Another Jim Wynorski film, this one an epic tale of a barbarian world where all girls were Playboy playmates and had severe allergies to clothing. My kinda world.

Lifeforce (1985)
Tobe Hooper decided to make a movie about an alien vampire babe with amazing tits who walks around naked for ninety minutes.

Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
The classic T&A slasher. If you haven't seen this movie yet, punch yourself in the face.

Up! (1976)
Another Russ Meyer movie that just deserved to be on the list. Not for the sheer mammary volume or number, but for Raven's de la croixs.

Barbarian Queen (1985)
Also known as Queen of the Naked Steel! But it's not the steel that's naked in this movie. It's an Italian sleazefest about kidnapped barbarian girls and their sweater-hating captors. Lana Clarkson is magnificent and we should all urinate into Phil Spector's mouth.

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