About Nazi Sharks!

So, you're interested in Nazi Sharks!, are you? Well, you've come to the wrong place. I mean, the right place! This is possibly the rightest place, unless you count my van.

Nazi Sharks! is an upcoming novel by me, Jared Roberts. If you like any of the following things, Nazi Sharks! probably belongs in your library, Kindle, and/or brain.

  • Sharks
  • Evil Nazi bastards
  • Huge tits
  • B-movies
  • Sexy girls in bikinis
  • Sexy girls not in bikinis
  • Kevin Costner
  • Synchronized swimming (with big tits)
  • Really stupid shark movies
  • SyFy
  • Virginia Woolf's elegant, rhythmic prose
  • Also, enormous breasts
If you're still with me, here's what happened. I was just there to chronicle it. All of this absolutely happened. I really mean that. Okay, the Discovery Channel is almost out of Nazi-themed stories, until John Maynard Beans, Professor and Gentleman, comes to their rescue. He's discovered sharks modified by the Nazis to be killing machines--or, well, Nazi killing machines. Unfortunately, while shipping them to the US--because these sharks kept a healthy diet and exercised daily, they are still alive--the sharks escape and make their way to none other than Shakatitt Beach, home of Kevin Costner's Synchronized Swim Competition, a shark-worshiping serial killer, and gazillions of busty bimbos with an allergy to clothing.

Nazi Sharks! is scheduled to hit entirely virtual shelves Fall 2014. Prepare your clicking fingers.

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